Rubbel´s Blog

Ich hab mal wieder nette …

17. Januar 2008 von Rubbel | 1 Kommentar

…Funksprüche von Piloten und Tower gefunden:

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Lufthansa-Pilot (Im Anflug auf Berlin kurz nach dem Brünkendorf VOR): “Warum holen Sie uns denn schon so früh so weit runter? Sie wissen doch, dass das Fliegen in derart niedriger Höhe für uns sehr unwirtschaftlich ist.’”
Controller. “Ja, Sie müssen schon entschuldigen, aber wir haben sehr viel Verkehr von Tegel aus in Ihre Richtung, und mit dem könnten Sie dann zusammenstoßen.”
Pilot: “Na, das wäre ja noch viel unwirtschaftlicher.”

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hier gehts weiter

*** ab hier ist alles in englisch ***

Pilot Trainee: “Tower, please speak slowly, I am a baby in English and lonely in the cockpit”

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ATC: “Cessna G-ARER What are your intentions? “
Cessna: “To get my Commercial Pilots Licence and Instrument Rating.”
ATC: “I meant in the next five minutes not years.”

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Control: You’re unreadable, say again.
Motor-glider: I’ve turned off the engine, is that better?
Control: (looong pause)

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Tower: Have you got enough fuel or not?
Pilot: Yes.
Tower: Yes what??
Pilot: Yes, SIR

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Lost student pilot: “Unknown airport with Cessna 150 circling overhead, identify yourself.”

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ATC: Alitalia 345 continue taxi holding position 26 South via Tango check for workers along taxiway
AZA: Ali345 Taxi 26 Left a via Tango. Workers checked - all are working

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Controller: AF123, say call sign of your wingman.
Pilot: Uh… approach, we’re a single ship.
Controller: oooohhh! You have traffic!

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Cessna 152: “Flight Level Three Thousand, Seven Hundred”
Controller: “Roger, contact Houston Space Center”

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Student Pilot: “I’m lost; I’m over a lake and heading toward the big E.”
Controller: “Make several 90 degree turns so I can identify you on radar.”
(short pause)…
Controller: “Okay then. That lake is the Atlantic Ocean. Suggest you turn to
the big W immediately …”

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Tower: “…and for your information, you were slightly to the left of the centerline on that approach.”
Speedbird: “That’s correct; and, my First Officer was slightly to the right”

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Controller: “USA353 (sic) contact Cleveland Center 135.60.
(pause)
Controller: “USA353 contact Cleveland Center 135.60!”
(pause)
Controller: “USA353 you’re just like my wife you never listen!”
Pilot: “Center, this is USA553, maybe if you called her by the right name you’d get a better response!”

***

ATC: “N123YZ, say altitude.”
N123YZ: “ALTITUDE!”
ATC: “N123YZ, say airspeed.”
N123YZ: “AIRSPEED!”
ATC: “N123YZ, say cancel IFR.”
N123YZ: “Eight thousand feet, one hundred fifty knots indicated.”

***

Controller: “FAR1234 confirm your type of aircraft. Are you an Airbus 330 or 340?”
Pilot: “A340 of course!”
Controller: “Then would you mind switching on the two other engines and give me a 1000 feet per minute, please?”

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Controller: “Air Force 53, it appears your engine has… oh… disregard, I see you’ve already ejected.

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Tower (in Stuttgart): “Lufthansa 5680, reduce to 170 knots.”
Pilot: “This is here like Frankfurt. There is also only 210 and 170 knots…But we are flexible.”
Tower: “We too. Reduce to 173 knots.”

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Tower: “Delta Zulu Romeo, turn right now and report your heading.”
Pilot: “Wilco. 341, 342, 343, 344, 345…”

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Controller: “CRX600, are you on course to SUL?”
Pilot: “More or less.”
Controller: “So proceed a little bit more to SUL.”

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Pilot: “Good morning, Frankfurt ground, KLM 242 request start up and push back, please.”
Tower: “KLM 242 expect start up in two hours.”
Pilot: “Please confirm: two hours delay?”
Tower: “Affirmative.”
Pilot: “In that case, cancel the good morning!”

***

Pilot: “FLX 30, we just have a few gallons of fuel.”
Tower: “Please give us your position, we dont see you at the radar!”
Pilot: “We are standing at runway 2 and want to know, when the fuel truck will come!”

***

Ich habe sehr gut gelacht…